Bedtime Story
by DaystarsMom
Summary: Someone tells the grandkids a bedtime story about the great Demon King's worst day ever. Warning: Serious fluff, with extra fluff on the side. One-shot.


**Title:** Bedtime Story  
**Author:** DaystarsMom  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Pairing:** Um... sorta implied.

**Warning:** Serious fluff!  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine. "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day" by Judith Viorst also not mine, though I'm not sure it needs a disclaimer for being inspiration.

**Thanks:** To SayokoBizen for the beta and some extra fluff.

Bedtime Story

By DaystarsMom

_-Grandpa, __Grandpa, tell us a story!_

_-Not until you are all in your beds and at least _pretending_ to try to sleep. ... _

_- (giggles)_

_- (scrambling noises)_

_-(fake snoring noises)_

_-Ready, Grandpa!_

_-__...That was quick. What kind of story do you want to hear?_

_-(__bounce) An adventure!_

_-Something funny!_

_-Something true!_

_-A true, funny adventure, huh? (thinks) Hmmm. I know just the one. Ready?_

_-(nods) _

_-__Good._

This is a true story about the Demon King of Shin Makoku.

_-__Which one?_

_-Wait and see. I__f you interrupt, you won't hear the story. ... That's better._

Now, even a great Demon King has a bad day once in a while, especially when he hasn't been king for very long and is still getting used to everything. But this day wasn't just bad. It was a terrible day, a horrible day. It was an awful day. It was –

_-It was a terrible, horrible, awful, no-good, very bad day!_

_-Who's telling this story, you or me?_

_-..._

The Demon King's terrible, horrible, awful, no-good, very bad day started just before dawn, when he woke up with a thud. His incredibly cute and sexy blonde fiancé had sprawled over so much of the bed that he had shoved the Demon King out on the other side.

The Demon King stood up, rubbing his rear end because he'd landed hard on the stone floor. It was just barely light outside, but he couldn't go back to bed because his incredibly cute and sexy blonde fiancé was taking up all the room. And he didn't want to wake up his incredibly cute and sexy blonde fiancé because he knew his incredibly cute and sexy blonde fiancé would yell at him.

_-Grandpa, you make this__ Demon King sound like a wimp._

_-Do I? Where did you hear that word, anyway?_

_-From Other Grandpa!_

_-I see. Maybe I should stop, and let you wait for him to get back and tell you a story?_

_-No, no! We want to hear your story!_

_-...t__hen when Other Grandpa gets back, we can get him to tell us another one!_

_-..._

_-Oooops._

_-Grandpa? Will you please, please finish your story even though Gwennie is stupid?_

_-Only if you settle down and stop calling your little brother names, Celi Anissina. OK, where was I? Oh, yes..._

The Demon King had to get dressed in the dark, so he put on one brown shoe and one black one without realizing it until he got out into the hall. Then he went for a run with his handsome smiling bodyguard, but it started to rain very hard when they were only halfway around the castle. The Demon King got soaked and then slipped in a puddle and twisted his ankle.

The rain stopped and the sun came out _just_ as he got to the door. As he limped inside to take a bath, the Demon King thought, _This day is not starting out very well._

_-__When does the adventure part come, Grandpa?_

_-Patience, Suzanna. And you know, it will come faster if you don't keep interrupting._

_-...I guess._

When the Demon King got to his private bath, he found a little pile of clothes in the dressing room and realized that the amazingly beautiful and sexy lady who just happened to be the previous Demon Queen was already in the bath. Obviously he couldn't go in while she was in there, and he didn't want to meet her when she came out because she always got huggy and it embarrassed him (and he knew it would embarrass him even more if she wasn't wearing anything). So he wrung out his wet clothes as best he could, toweled his hair, and snuck out of the room before she came out.

Unfortunately, right outside the bath the Demon King ran into his mercurial chief advisor, who immediately got a nosebleed from seeing him in his clingy wet clothes. While the mercurial chief advisor was alternately gushing about how wonderful the Demon King was and worrying loudly about whether he'd catch cold, the amazingly beautiful and sexy former Demon Queen finished her bath and came out and caught him anyway.

_Where is my handsome smiling bodyguard when I really need him?_ thought the Demon King as the two pulled on his arms and yelled at each other.

_-It was a terrible, horrible, awful, no-good, very bad day!_

_-__ (chuckle) It was certainly getting there fast._

By the time he got away from them, the Demon King was late for breakfast. Since his ankle still hurt, he couldn't walk fast and was even later. When he finally got to the dining room, his incredibly cute and sexy blonde fiancé had already eaten all the Demon King's favorite buns.

After breakfast, the Demon King's stern but fair older advisor told everybody what they had on their schedules for the day. The amazingly beautiful and sexy former Demon Queen was going shopping with the energetic and intelligent feminist inventor, who needed parts for a new invention she was building. The handsome smiling bodyguard was going to train the castle guards, the cheerful sneaky red-headed spy was going to dress up in a brand new nifty little outfit and do some spying, and the incredibly cute and sexy blonde fiancé got to work on his latest portrait of the Demon King. Everybody else got to do things they really liked, but the Demon King was stuck inside with his mercurial chief advisor all morning, signing papers.

_-__These people all sound kind of familiar, Grandpa. Have you told us this story before?_

_-No, I'm quite sure I haven't. And remember what I said about interrupting?_

_-..._

By the end of the morning, the Demon King had a cramp in his hand from signing papers, and his shoulders hurt where the amazingly beautiful and sexy ex-Demon-Queen and his mercurial chief advisor had pulled on them, and his ankle hurt where he had twisted it, and his head was getting stuffed up from getting caught in the rain and sitting around in damp clothes.

So the Demon King went to the castle infirmary before lunch to see the sweet but sometimes scary healer. It was one of the healer's very scary days, and she gave him three kinds of nasty-tasting medicine to drink and told him that, Demon King or not, he was an idiot for not coming to see her right away.

The nasty-tasting medicine made the Demon King's lunch taste funny.

_I really don't like the way this day is going_ the Demon King thought. _I had better do something about it, fast. _

So as soon as lunch was over, he told everyone that he was taking the afternoon off to go riding. He was very firm about it, even though it annoyed his mercurial chief advisor and his stern but fair older advisor, who wanted him to sign more papers in the afternoon.

_Things are finally looking up,_ the Demon King thought as he started for the stables.

But when he got to the stable, he found that his favorite special black horse had thrown a shoe the day before, and couldn't be ridden. The only spare horse was an evil-tempered gray mare. The Demon King would have canceled the ride, but his incredibly cute and sexy blonde fiancé called him a wimp for suggesting it and told him right in front of the castle guards that he needed to practice his riding.

_-I _told_ you this Demon King sounded like a wimp!_

_-Shhhh! If you make Grandpa mad, he won't finish the story._

So the Demon King went riding with his incredibly cute and sexy blonde fiancé and his handsome smiling bodyguard. The mare bit him once and tried twice more before he got mounted, which made him nervous.

As they rode through the town, people came up and gave them flowers. They gave little bouquets of violets and forget-me-nots to the incredibly cute and sexy blonde fiancé, and one or two people gave a single lily to the handsome smiling bodyguard. The Demon King got huge bunches of red roses. Roses were the only flower the Demon King was allergic to.

The roses made the Demon King sneeze, and the evil-tempered gray mare bolted. Flowers flew in all directions. The horse ran right out the gate and into the forest, with the Demon King hanging on for dear life.

_Aaaaaugh! Why me?_ thought the Demon King, right before he fell off at last.

The evil-tempered gray mare kept right on going, leaving the Demon King sitting on the ground. His ankle and his shoulders were hurting again, his rear end was even sorer than it had been when he fell out of bed in the morning, and he was covered in mud. His horse was gone, and there was no sign of his handsome smiling bodyguard or his incredibly cute and sexy blonde fiancé. And he was lost in the forest.

_-He __really is a wimp!_

_-Is this the adventure part?_

_-He _is_ having a terrible, horrible, awful, no-good, very bad day._

_-SHHHHH! ...Sorry Grandpa._

The Demon King stood up and limped after his horse. Three steps later, he tripped over a root and fell into a prickly bush. The prickles went right through his clothes and stuck in his skin. It took him forever to get out, and every time he moved he got stuck in even more places. _I am _really_ not having a good day,_ the Demon King thought.

Just as he got out of the prickly bush, the evil-tempered gray mare went racing past, followed by a group of bandits who were trying to catch her. When they saw the Demon King, they stopped chasing the mare and surrounded him instead. "Look at this!" one of the bandits said. "It's a double-black! We can sell him for lots of money in one of those countries way out west. Our fortunes are made!"

_-Yay! It's the adventure part! Go, Demon King!_

_-Stop bouncing on the bed, Suzanna. You're supposed to be going to sleep._

_-But Grandpa, you finally got to the exciting part!_

_-That's not a good reason to break the bed and get your brothers and sister all worked up at bedtime._

_-Awwww, Grandpa!_

_-...And no pouting, or I'll stop right now._

_-Grandpa, you wouldn't!_

_-Try me._

_-Grandpa? You always say we're supposed to be fair. But if you stop now because Suzi was bouncing on the bed, that wouldn't be fair to me and Gwennie and Gun-gun and – _

_-You have a good point, Celi Anissina. All right, then._

The Demon King tried to talk the bandits into giving up, but they were blinded by the thought of how rich they were going to be, and wouldn't listen. They tied the Demon King up tight, which hurt his shoulders again. Also, being tied up meant he couldn't scratch all the itchy prickles that were stuck all over him. Then they all walked a mile back to the bandit camp, which made the Demon King's twisted ankle hurt more. They sat him down at one side of the camp with two guards to make sure he wouldn't run away.

By this time, the Demon King was getting very cross, because his incredibly cute and sexy blonde fiancé and his handsome smiling bodyguard hadn't caught up with him yet. _They are the ones who are supposed to be good at handling bandits_, the Demon King thought. _I'm just good at baseball._

_-Wimp._

_-Hey! Baseball is cool!_

_-Not as cool as beating up bandits._

_-Shhhh!_

The Demon King was also getting very thirsty, but when he politely asked one of the bandits if he could have a drink, the bandits all just laughed.

"That does it!" the Demon King cried. "You will all pay for your crimes! Justice be done!" And he summoned three huge water dragons, who destroyed the bandit camp and knocked out all the bandits and soaked everything in sight. Including the Demon King.

_-Go, Demon King! ...uh, that wasn't a bounce, Grandpa, honest._

_-It looked like a bounce to me._

_-Well, I guess it might have _looked_ kind of like a bounce. From the side. But it really wasn't._

_-..._

Getting soaked made the ropes around the Demon King shrink, which cut off the circulation in his arms. _It is too bad that water dragons are no good at untying people_, the Demon King thought. _Well, at least I got a _little_ drink while they were soaking me._

Just then, the Demon King's handsome smiling bodyguard and incredibly cute and sexy blonde fiancé arrived at long last. The handsome smiling bodyguard pulled out his sword to cut the Demon King free, but the incredibly cute and sexy blonde fiancé stopped him.

"Freeing the wimp is _my_ job!" the incredibly cute and sexy blonde fiancé declared, striking a pose. "He is _my_ fiancé, after all!"

"Hello? Fingers going numb here," said the Demon King. "Also, I'm still thirsty and my shoulders hurt and I itch. Could you please _get on with the freeing part?_"

So the incredibly cute and sexy blonde fiancé cut the ropes that held the Demon King. The handsome smiling bodyguard stayed in the bandit camp to make sure none of the bandits woke up and got away before the guards got there. This was all right even though there were eight bandits and only one of him, because the handsome smiling bodyguard was also the best swordsman in the world and could do things like that. The Demon King had to ride double with his incredibly cute and sexy blonde fiancé all the way back to the castle, with his arms all pins and needles from getting their circulation back. He fell off twice.

_-__And hurt his rear end some more!_

_-Probably. After all, he was having a very bad day._

_-A terrible, horrible, awful, no-good, very bad day!_

_-Yes, exactly._

When they finally got home, the Demon King's mercurial chief advisor spent ten minutes gushing about how glad he was that the Demon King was safe, and got into a fight with the incredibly cute and sexy blonde fiancé _and_ the amazingly beautiful and sexy ex-Demon Queen, who was just back from her shopping trip. The energetic and intelligent feminist inventor took the opportunity to whisk the Demon King off to her lab to test out her new invention, Fixes-What-Ails-You-And-Then-Some-Kun. The invention exploded and singed off half the Demon King's hair without actually fixing anything.

_-Y__e__ow! Did it hurt, Grandpa?_

_-A little. After all, this _was_ a terrible, horrible, awful, no-good, very bad day._

_-And now it was a bad hair day, too!_

_-..._

The Demon King went to the infirmary again, where the sweet but sometimes scary healer was still in Very Scary mode. She gave him _five_ different nasty-tasting medicines and made him drink them all, one after another, before she used her healing maryoku. Then she told him he would have to take all of the nasty-tasting medicines again before bedtime.

_-How nasty were they?_

_-The first one was twice as nasty as the medicine your Mama made you take when you had that cold last fall, Gwen. And each one was worse than the one before it, no matter what order he took them in._

_-Eeeewww!_

All the Demon King really wanted to do was curl up in bed for the rest of the day, not that there was much left of it. But while he was out, some ambassadors had arrived, so he had to change into his most formal clothes and have dinner with them. The formal clothes were hot and heavy and made all the prickles itch again in spite of the healing he'd had.

Dinner was seven courses of very strange food from the ambassadors' home country – purple fish with green blotches, something that looked like blue worms...

_-Ooooh, yuck!_

_-The Demon King had to eat _worms

_-He couldn't refuse without insulting the ambassadors. And they tasted even worse than the nasty medicine, and he couldn't even make faces because the ambassadors were sitting right there._

_-Being the Demon King is a hard job._

_-__ (chuckle) Yes, it is. Especially if you're having a terrible, horrible, awful, no-good, very bad day._

After dinner, the Demon King had to listen to some music that sounded like dragons screeching. He already had a headache from using so much maryoku, and the music made the headache even worse. But the ambassadors liked it.

Finally, the ambassadors bowed and went off with the stern but fair older advisor, and the exhausted Demon King stumbled toward his room to get ready for bed. _This has definitely been the worst day I have had in a long, long time,_ he thought as he headed for his private bath. _But at least it is almost over._

_-It had been a terrible, horrible, awful, no-good, very bad day!_

_-Some days are like that. Even if you're the Demon King._

_-...Right up to the end, when the Demon King got to his bath and found his incredibly cute and sexy blonde fiancé waiting to give him a backrub. And the Demon King decided that maybe the end of the day wasn't turning out quite so bad after all._

_-Other Grandpa! You're back!_

_-Yes, and aren't you youngsters all supposed to be sleeping?_

_-Grandpa was telling us a story!_

_-So I heard._

_-Other Grandpa,__ how did you know the end of Grandpa's story?_

_-That's how all your Grandpa's__ very best stories end, __right?_

_-(smile) I certainly think those are my very best stories._

_-Ooooo__h__! Grandpas are getting mushy!_

_-Suzanna, that's not – _

_-You're too lenient with these hellions, __W__imp. You youngsters have had your story; now GO. TO. BED._

_-...Yes, Other Grandpa. G'night._

_-Goodnight._

_-Goodnight, Grandpa._

_-There, see? Now, come on, __W__imp. It's been a long day, and the bath is all ready. I'll even give you a back rub._

_The End_


End file.
